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Lalalalalalala...I can't HEAR you!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Pedicure-ly challenged

I've been spending time perusing dating websites lately. I'm not particularly ready to start dating, but I have been living in an emotional desert for quite a long time. It's time to end the drought. Or, at least wet my lips a little in preparation for a tall glass of water.

I find it interesting reading some of these guys profiles. I immediately pass by guys who use words like "conversate" or who refer to women as "females". Also, men who are over 30 and dress like my 15 year old son. Just no. Then, there are the ones who have a mortal fear of using spell check. Or worse, the ones who use abbreviations like u for you or ben for been. And, for the love of God, how can a grown man respect himself when he uses the letter 'z' to pluralize something?

But what really has me questioning reality is the number of men out there who seem to embrace idea of pretty feet. I understand attention to grooming and there may even be something uniquely feminine about regular pedicures. But pretty is just not an adjective I've ever used in a sentence that also contains the words "my feet". Not even, "These shoes look really pretty on my feet". I may have said, "Wow, my feet are pretty tired", but even that's a stretch because I'm much more of a "Fuck! My feet hurt!" kind of gal.

I do think my feet are cute. In a Fred Flintstone-Barney Rubble-bust-through-the-floorboard-and-pedal-your-car kind of way. They're short and stubby and a little bit on the wide-side. But, still, cute. Almost childlike. At least they aren't hairy, gnarly toed, little hobbit feet. Although the toenails on my pinky toes have been known to elicit the phrase "*gasp*Oh my God, what happened to your TOE?!" on more than ten occasions. By the same person. But the other eight toenails are fine and hold a coat of polish as well as the next girl's.

Sigh. It's bad enough to live in a world where the standard of beauty is set by tall, skinny, big breasted women with no stretch marks and only one chin. Now even my FEET don't even measure up.

Aren't there any specialty dating websites that call for freckle-faced, thighs-touching-together, fat-footed women with 4 kids, 2 dogs, a dead-end job and no money? That's a bill I can fill.

posted by *******DIANE******* @ 11:20 AM

1 Comments:

At 6:35 PM, Kimberly said…

I would totally take your feet on a date if I were a guy. The rest of you too. Your feet are a catch!

But GAH on the dating profiles. So. Many. Things. Wrong. There.